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marraiges are what you make of them.
Factors to Lower Your Odds of Divorce
Bronson and Merryman list factors that could help a couple lower their odds of divorce:
Being at least 25 years old. If you marry before the age of 25, you may have a lack of life experience and communication skills, low incomes, and are getting married for the wrong reasons.
Waiting until you are at least 25 years old gives your brain a chance to reach the point of intellectual maturity, also known as the "age of reason."
Learn more about the Age of Reason.
If you cohabit, you do so with an intention to marry. If you live together because it is convenient and an economical advantage, moving on to marriage may not be a good idea.
Pros and cons of living together.
The bride has a good relationship with her father. Having a good relationship with your dad as you were growing up provides you with good communication skills and the knowledge that you are loved. Women who have problems with their fathers may make inappropriate choices in choosing a spouse.
The groom shows a willingness to share chores. If you both believe that household chores are a mutual responsibility, you are eliminating a major potential source of conflict in your marriage.
The importance of sharing household chores.
The couple's income together is at least $50,000 a year. Financial problems are the number one reason that couples divorce.
When the two of you are stressed over coping with overdue bills, broken dreams, different spending and saving expectations, bill collectors, and fear that you could lose everything, arguments and misunderstandings increase, and your marriage ends up very low on your priority list.
Financial questions for the two of you to talk about.
You are purchasing a home, considering purchasing a home, or saving towards the purchase of a home together. Although owning a home can limit the free time a couple has and may create additional financial stress on a couple, the purchase of a home is a sign of a commitment to stay together and to build your future together.
Just think twice about remodeling a home.
You have attended or are planning on attending a premarital class. As more churches and communities require couples to have premarital education, new research is showing that these couples have less hurtful conflicts and a higher sense of marital satsifaction.
Learn more about premarital education.
Will This Marriage Last?
"At the time of a couple's wedding, there are factors already present that can raise the odds of divorce to as high as 70%, or lower it to nearly 20%."
"The first thing to keep in mind is that the divorce rate has stabilized. An average couple now has a 57% chance of seeing their 15th wedding anniversary."
"... Couples who have attended premarital classes or counseling cut their odds of divorce by almost a third. We don't know if the classes actually change the couples, or if those couples are already realistic and savvy to the dangers (which is why they were smart enough to take the class). But premarital counseling might be the best wedding gift any newlyweds can receive."
Source: Will This Marriage Last?, Time.com, June 30, 2006
Why Couples Divorce
Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman state that generally, while infidelity is a "frequent deal-breaker, rich or poor", the reasons couples divorce often reflect their financial situation.
Well-off Couples: Divorce over personality conflicts.
Poorer Couples: Divorce over alcoholism, physical abuse, and money problems.
From the posts on our Marriage Forums, a lot of couples, regardless of their financial status, are divorcing due to mis-matched sexual libidos.
If you are considering getting married or know a couple with thoughts of marriage, make sure you read this great article by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman at Time.com.
More Factors Determining Odds of Divorce
Three other major factors can help determine your odds for divorce include whether or not your parents divorced, your religious faiths, and if you have been previously married.
Divorced Parents. This can raise the odds of a divorce by 14%, but the type of conflict and divorce in the family is a major consideration in determining the percentage number.
How your parents handled their divorce and parenting responsibilities had a large impact on your own emotional health. Children can emerge from a "good divorce" as emotionally healthy adults. Read more about the impact of divorce on children.
Religious Differences. According to Bronson and Merryman, what is important in a marriage is "how devoted they are to practicing their faith."
If you are in an interfaith marriage, make sure that the religious issues and expectations are talked about and dealt with prior to getting married.
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Throughout your marriage, your interfaith issues will need to be re-examined as your lives change and especially, when you have children. Read about interfaith marriage stumbling blocks
Second Marriages. Even though a couple in a second marriage has issues with ex-spouses and stepchildren, Bronson and Merryman write that "a middle-class second marriage has only 3% more risk than a first marriage."
If you are approaching marriage a second time, along with talking about your expectations, the two of you need to thoroughly discuss the three big issues: former spouses, children, and money. Remarriage Tips
http://www.marriage.counselingthatworks.com/
http://marriage.about.com/od/engagement/a/marriagelast.htm
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coz divorce is created from hell... and marriage is from heaven... for balance... lolz...
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Education: College
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country code: Philippines
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i think marriage are made on earth yet we need to have God in our marriages to have a descent one and i think divorces have some problems but just like the opposite of that if we don't get out of an abusive situation we could die so what would you do stay there and die, if a marriage has lost or made you lose jesus then you need to think of a different way to deal with it. there is alot of mixed up lifes and we have to remember jesus loves us and will never leave us
http://doyoulovejesus.tripod.com/godsrest2
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Education: College
Degree: mechanical engineering
Job: engineer
Homepage: ..
country code: India
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Education: Highschool
Degree:
Job: Medical billing
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country code: United States
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i do not think marriages are made in heaven. marriages take hard work and dedication, and no one contributes to that more then the two people involved. Divorce is only for those who are not willing to do that hard work and dedication. Marriages are hard work, and the work never ends...
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Education: Highschool
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Job: instructor, city park and rec center
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country code: United States
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I think this statement has some unclear justification to be made. It depends on us humans how we see a marriage and deal with problem in it.
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Education: University
Degree: Human Resource Management
Job: online freelancer
Homepage: www.myLot.com..
country code: Malaysia
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Education: College
Degree: mechanical engineering
Job: engineer
Homepage: ..
country code: India
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Education: University
Degree: B.tech.
Job: Student
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country code: India
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Yes it is right it is the most clean and legal relation that god gives it a holy meaning. People take divorce because they aren't related to god anymore only searching money and busy in naking thier life
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Education: University
Degree: Computer Science
Job: Engineer
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country code: Egypt
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Yes it is right it is the most clean and legal relation that god gives it a holy meaning. People take divorce because they aren't related to god anymore only searching money and busy in naking thier life
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Education: University
Degree: Computer Science
Job: Engineer
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country code: Egypt
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When 2 persons are bond with GOD through the holy matrimony, no one can ever separate them. Thats the rule of the church. Many get divorces because they did'nt give much value to the marriage. Other reasons is that there are things that the couples can no longer settle.
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Education: University
Degree: Accountancy
Job: Nursing Student
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country code: Philippines
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I think that the marriage majority is done with too much precipitation.the people must be known well before getting married, perhaps living also together for a period.this way one better knows theirself and maybe it is easier to accept the defects of the other one
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well marriages are made in heaven but after marriage they are kicked out to hell thats were divorce take place
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Education: College
Degree: commerce
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country code: India
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That was earlier. Now a days marriages and divorces were given in earth. It was changed after getting the experience from heaven.
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Education: College
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ya i think marraiges are made in heaven it just takes time to find the right person and to love the right one
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country code: India
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very true, its made in heaven, but after that they come down the path, where they sail in the same boat, congested with very little space, you need to adjust, you need understanding, marriage is an understanding, if not they pass through hell.....
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marriages are made in heaven but this divorce is made on hell.i.e. this earth,on this hell we used to do,free to do any thing
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Education: University
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marriages are made in heaven but always ends up in hell. =) people tend to get so excited about the concept of marriage that they always forget that in order for a marriage to work out the way they want it to, they must first be consistent. without consistency, im sure it'll be over before u know it.
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Education: University
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Made in Heaven? Maybe. However, too many people expect the marriage itself to be Heaven, and when they find out what real day to day married life is like, they want out. The excitement of new love and marriage doesn't last; however, if couple is willing to work at it, they can develop their own special love that will last a lifetime. Too many people are willing to make that effort.
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Education: University
Degree: Early Childhood Education
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Sigh, marriage is certainly made in heaven. But have to be worked out on earth. Marriage is a fantasy plan that need to be worked to be a reality.
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The reason for so many divorces is because satan is hard at work on this earth and we must fight him every day and never let our guard down.
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First of all I think that this statement is correct. Marriages are made in heaven in the way that God blesses marriage when you really intend to keep it.
I think God will then help us through the rough patches in the relationship which will come one day sooner or later.
To my mind so many people are thinking of divorce because they just dont want to work on the differences and bad times. We are in an "instant society" with instant solutions to our wants, not only our needs. And so people easily can get too lazy to work on the most important and most precious relationship in their lives.
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Education: University
Degree: librarianship
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country code: Germany
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God hated divorce first of all
Pple dont wanna listen to God's word they rather do what they want to do and then think that God will forgive them
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